Iraqi Jokes

Yassin Aref, like all of us, likes a good joke (though how can possibly keep his sense of humor when he is in such a terrible situation is amazing). Here are some he has sent to Lynne Jackson from his prison cell in the Communications Management Unit of Terra Haute, Indiana.


Iraqi Hell

A man dies and goes to Hell. There, he finds that there is a different Hell for each country.

First, he goes to German Hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He is told, "First, they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then, they lay you on a bed of nails for an hour. Then the German Devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day!"

The man did not like the sound of that at all. So he moved on to the USA Hell, which was the same. Then he went to Russian Hell, and many more. He discovers that they are all the same, electric chair, bed of nails, and a beating.

Then, he comes to the Iraqi Hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in.

Amazed, he asks what do they do here?

He is told, "First, they put you in an electric chair for an hour, then they lay you on a bed of nails for an hour, then the Iraqi devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day!"

"But, that is exactly the same as all the other hells. "Why are there so many people waiting to get in?" says the man.

Because:

1. No power for the electric chair.

2. Maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work.

3. Some one has stolen all the nails from the bed.

4. The devil is a former government servant, so he comes in, signs the register, and then goes to the canteen!!


Iraqi Phone Call

British, American and Iraqi ministers died and all went to hell. The British said: I miss England, I wanna call England and see how everybody is doing there. . . he called and talked for about 5 minutes. . .then he said: well, devil how much do I owe you for the phone call???

The devil goes: five million dollars . . . Five million dollars!!! So he made him a check and went to sit back on his chair . . .

The American was soo jealous, he starts screaming, me too I wanna call the United States, I wanna see how everybody is doing too . . . he called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he said: well, devil how much do I owe you for the phone call???? The devil goes: ten million dollars . . . Ten million dollars!!!! So he made him a check and went to sit back on his chair . . .

The Iraqi was extremely soooo jealous too . . . he starts screaming and screaming, I wanna call Iraq too, I wanna see how everybody is doing there too, I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputies, I wanna talk to everybody . . . he called Iraq and he talked for about twenty hours, he was talking and talking and talking . . . then he said: well, devil how much do I owe you for the phone call???? The devil goes: one dollar... Only one dollar?!!!!! said the Iraqi.

The devil goes: yes, well, from hell to hell, it's local!!

 


Updated
January 6, 2008

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